You had a blue hoodie and a beat-up car,
A laugh like a screen door swinging in the yard.
I memorized your schedule in the second week of fall,
Third row, left side, back against the wall.
I wrote your name in pencil, then I rubbed it out,
Like if I never said it, it wouldn't count.
You asked me for a pen, I forgot how to breathe,
I wrote your name on the inside of my sleeve.

And I know every song you hummed under your breath,
The one about leaving, the one about less.
I was a whisper in a room full of noise,
A maybe, an almost, a half-finished choice.

I was the note in your locker you never found,
The light on your porch when you weren't around.
The extra beat in a song you'd skip,
The name on my tongue that I never let slip.
You were the driveway, I was the rain,
Falling for someone who can't feel the same.
I loved you in silence, I loved you like a ghost,
You were the boy I wanted the most.
And I was the almost.

You liked a girl with a ribbon in her hair,
I sat two seats over, acting like I didn't care.
I helped you pick a playlist for her birthday drive,
Smiled like a friend while I was dying inside.
You said, "You get me," and I laughed too loud,
Pulled my sleeves over my hands in a crowd.
I was your safe place, your "you're like a sister,"
While I was out here writing love songs in whispers.

And I know every freckle on your left arm,
The way you say "sorry" when you don't mean harm.
I was a secret you never knew you kept,
A promise I made that I never confessed.

I was the note in your locker you never found,
The light on your porch when you weren't around.
The extra beat in a song you'd skip,
The name on my tongue that I never let slip.
You were the driveway, I was the rain,
Falling for someone who can't feel the same.
I loved you in silence, I loved you like a ghost,
You were the boy I wanted the most.
And I was the almost.

Then it was May, and the gym smelled like cheap perfume,
You spun her around in the middle of the room.
I stood by the punch bowl, holding a cup,
Thinking, "One day, one day, I'll be enough."
But the song ended, and you kissed her goodnight,
And I walked home alone under porch-light skies.
I didn't cry in the driveway, I waited till June,
I was seventeen, and I was a fool.

I was the note in your locker you never found,
The light on your porch when you weren't around.
The extra beat in a song you'd skip,
The name on my tongue that I never let slip.
You were the driveway, I was the rain,
Falling for someone who can't feel the same.
I loved you in silence, I loved you like a ghost,
You were the boy I wanted the most.
And I was the almost.

Now I'm older, and I hear your name,
Like a song that I can't quite explain.
And I don't hate her, and I don't hate you,
I just hate that I never gave the truth.
But I hope you're happy, I hope she's kind,
I hope you get everything I had in mind.
And when you think of high school, I hope you see
A girl who loved you quietly.

Yeah, I was the almost.
Pencil marks and pavement,
A heart in a basement.
I was the almost.

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